I havent had anything since breakfast. Im starting to feel better. 3 bottles of green tea and a new purple dress later... I dont have an appetite right now. I dont know what I want with Alex. One minute she is driving me mad, the next minute i dont wanna break up because ... well, mostly i dont want to hurt her. And that is what i am doing. It makes me physically sick that i have this much power. I have the power to break her heart, make her cry. And im not okay with that. I didnt ask for it.
Brooke is no where to be found. I have called her. I dont know if her trip got cancelled or not. She is the one person i want to be around and i cant. All i know is, ive got to figure this out quick. it is wearing me out. I want things to start making sense again.

Tomorrow I am going to be STRONG!
I am contemplating vegetarianism.
And I moved the scale so I will only weigh
myself every other day.

M.